Further Reflections on our Time at L'Abri: Wendell Berry's "Why I'm Not Going to Buy a Computer" and "Feminism, The Body, and The Machine"

When you are a student at L'Abri, you are assigned a tutor who is there to discuss life's questions with you and recommend resources for you from L'Abri's library or their lecture archives.  When Chris met with his tutor, he told him where we are at in life as part of the discussion of what career path to choose next.  Now, I don't know quite how that conversation went but his tutor recommended Chris read these two essays by Wendell Berry to help him understand my perspective on life better.  Of course, when Chris told me this, I had to read these essays too because I want to understand myself better too.

The first essay's title is pretty self-explanatory and the second essay is a response Berry wrote to critics of his first essay.  Both are quite interesting.  I found them totally inspiring.

I had already read "Why I'm Not Going to Buy a Computer" a long time ago.  I loved it, but didn't see much practical use for it in my life, at least, as far as the whole not owning a computer goes.  A personal computer and internet access is a pretty essential tool to student life these days.

However, I loved Berry's list of criteria for buying new technology:

1. The new tool should be cheaper than the one it replaces.
2. It should be at least as small in scale as the one it replaces.
3. It should do work that is clearly and demonstrably better than the one it replaces.
4. It should use less energy than the one it replaces.
5. If possible, it should use some form of solar energy, such as that of the body.
6. It should be repairable by a person of ordinary intelligence, provided that he or she has the necessary tools.
7. It should be purchasable and repairable as near to home as possible.
8. It should come from a small, privately owned shop or store that will take it back for maintenance and repair.
9. It should not replace or disrupt anything good that already exists, and this includes family and community relationships (Why I'm Not Going to Buy a Computer). 

Having re-read this list, I STILL love it!  I don't know if I necessarily agree with the first point, since "cheaper" often means that someone isn't getting paid properly for their work, but everything else is gold.  And it convicted me to do something I've been fantasizing about for a long, long time: selling this laptop I am currently typing on and focussing my energy on more productive things!  As I said in my last post, what I currently crave more than anything is setting down some roots, right where we live, in Guelph.  

I stare at a screen for far, far too many hours of my precious, ever-decreasing-in-length life.  I especially love Facebook stalking and reading other people's blogs without ever commenting.  I want to learn to sew.  I want to be more well-read.  I want to create things.  I want to exercise more and be outside more.  Why haven't I done more of these things?  Because this screen is just so completely engrossing.  

I guess its so engrossing because it makes me feel like I'm a part of a greater community, and I am, sort of.  We received 132 views on this blog already today, which is pretty awesome.  But I don't know who you all are.  People I went to Swiss L'Abri with?  Friends of Chris' ex-girlfriend?  Someone I went to high school with who I would recognize, but probably not acknowledge in real life?  

Speaking of real life, real life is great!  Having a real exchange of information face to face.  Laughing so hard that you cry.  Scraping up your knees on an adventure.  Journalling privately, on paper, expressing your real, true, raw, hopes, fears, fantasies, and frustrations not filtered by guesses of who might stumble upon those words.  Remember that?  I can still have those things, only more of it, if I get rid of this ridiculous contraption on my lap.  

I don't need it for work anymore so it needs to go!  Plus, we have a desktop, which I can't get as addicted to because Chris needs it for work during office hours and he spends a lot of time outside of office hours gaming, which would limit my time on it significantly.  I think it would be nearly impossible to get rid of all of my dependence on the internet, since this is how people predominantly communicate.  So I'm not giving it up completely.

And lately I've been using it for good: We looked into buying YMCA memberships online yesterday and will be buying them today.  I found Guelph's Continuing Education Course Brochure online and will be taking a class or two this Fall.  We also looked on the Guelph Public Library's website yesterday and found out that documentaries are regularly shown and discussed at the library.  They also offer a couple of book clubs we have now signed up for.  There is a Cookbook Club through the GPL.  A Cookbook Club.  That meets in a building that is a five minute walk from my house, literally on the same street.  Imagine, a whole roomful of kindred spirits - THAT CLOSE BY - and I've been missing them because I've been here, starring at a screen.  I've also, through the internet, arranged for an interview for us to start volunteering at Agape Cafe which is also a stone's throw from our house.  So the internet isn't all bad, but its certainly not how I want to spend the majority of the remainder of my life.

We are finally setting down roots in Guelph and its feeling pretty great!

That said, I'll be posting a couple of laptop ads on Kijiji soon.  If you or someone you know is looking for a used, but less than a year old MacBook Pro, or a functioning 5 year-old Dell, let me know!

Hey look!  Kittens:

Aww, Labri!

Well, we have finished our nine day stay at the Massachusetts L'Abri.  The building made me feel like I was living in a Jane Austin novel!  We had a lovely time and met some wonderful people.  We were one of two married couples, and nearly everyone else happened to be single, female, introverted English majors in their early twenties, with seventeen people in total for most of our stay.  They didn't all come together.  That's just the random bunch this term happened to attract.

My experience this time was quite different from last time, when I went to the Swiss L'Abri in 2007.  But of course it would be.  There was no intellectual dick-swinging during free time this time (which, I must admit, slightly disappointed me.  There aren't many uses for my Honours Religious Studies degree but that would have been one of them).

It had more of a Bible-collegey-isn't-it-great-we-all-love-Jesus-so-much feel than last time too.  I found that a little exasperating, because I was really looking forward to being at a place where Christianity and intellectual honesty can eat at the same table amicably.  Of course, a place where it is perfectly okay to ask questions and not be sure of what you believe is what L'Abri is going for, but with so many students so apparently sure of what they believe, it changes the culture of the term a bit.  I'm sure people will open up more as the term goes on though.

Personally, I had a hard time nailing down one question to focus on.  I realized I had many, many questions that were not necessarily connected, like a big tangled ball of necklaces.  Chris and I seriously discussed the idea of me staying there by myself until November and I was tempted to do so.  I know I could have become great friends with at least a few of those women and it would have been helpful to spend some time focussing on confronting my relationship with my religion, but I also knew that this community, warm and fuzzy as it was, was very temporary, and that more than anything right now, I crave setting down some roots.  Spending three months apart is also kind of a lame way of commencing our second year of marriage.

Despite our stay being so short, I learned a lot.  I learned that I love Wendell Berry's writing and want to read more, I gained a renewed passion for reading in general, I had some encouraging conversations with others who had lived in or are currently living in community in their everyday lives, I became more comfortable with where I'm at spiritually, I had a lot of time to reflect on who I want to be after this trip is over, and I picked up a FABULOUS recipe for pumpkin chocolate chip muffins!

On a somewhat related note, I discovered an excellent comic on the value of questions and answers today: A Day at the Park.  A lot of it reflects quite well what my internal dialogue sounded like while at L'Abri.

Where is God in My Work? - Reflections on Tim Keller's Novel "Every Good Endeavor"

To Phrase a Question

As we approached the L'Abri house on the outskirts of Boston, Massachusetts, I was increasingly meditating on what question I should choose as the motivation for my study time during our visit.  L'Abri (meaning shelter) serves many purposes for the "students" who come to visit, but primarily it is a place to ask questions or voice doubts about Christianity, and provide resources to help in the search for answers.  But as I bounced ideas and questions around in my mind I kept being drawn back to the inevitable decision I would have to make at the end of our trip.  Was I going to pursue a new career direction focused around stock trading or would I return to the engineering world?  Obviously I have been struggling with this decision for some time, however one aspect which deserved further contemplation was the issue of spirituality.  So regardless of what other noble pursuits I could dream up or world changing problems I could face or tackle or whatever other means someone might conquer through purely intellectual pursuits, this was this question which directed my study.  Where is God in my work and how can I best integrate work and faith?

More than a Sunday School Answer

One of the resources which was recommend to me during the initial meeting with my tutor was a book written by Timothy Keller titled "Every Good Endeavor: Connecting Your Work to God's Work".  As I sorted through my pile of resources, I must admit that this one intrigued me the least, simply based on the cover design and lack of a flashy title.  I had also never read anything by Timothy Keller, so that wasn't going to sway me one way or the other.  But I was fortunate that I was in a reading mood, so I picked up the book and within the first few pages of the introduction I was hooked.  Not because the book seemed to point to a concrete solution, but that it acknowledge the complexity of the question.  It was this list which initially caught my attention:

The way to serve God at work is to . . .

• further social justice in the world
• be personally honest and evangelize your colleagues
• do skillful, excellent work
• is to create beauty
• work from a Christian motivation to glorify God, seeking to engage and influence culture to that end
• work with a grateful, joyful, gospel-changed heart through all the ups and downs
• do whatever gives you the greatest joy and passion
• make as much money as you can, so that you can be as generous as you can

I had heard all these answers before from friends, family, co-workers, sermons, books and even out of my own mouth, but none of them was ever fully satisfying.  To me this was a list of Sunday school answers that, while theologically sound, quickly withered when tested in real life.  I believe God's creativity allows for a rich and diversified embracement of work itself, and people should be able to pursue their own passions and creativity rather than trying to fill another checkbox on an "are you good christian?" survey.  In Keller's view, the statements on this list are difficult to reconcile because although "there is at least a measure of biblical warrant for every one of them . . . they operate in different ways depending on the field or type of work."(22)  Furthermore, if you simply combine them all equally into a model for Christian work you find that many of them are competing or even contradictory.  Therefore, it is important that we have a solid understanding of God's purpose for work and why it can be so frustrating, destructive, and meaningless sometimes.  Then we can integrate the truths listed above to create an appropriate model, recognizing that each of them should be applied differently and with varying "levels of importance depending on [our] particular vocation, culture, and historical moment." (24)

Leaf by Niggle

"Leaf by Niggle" is a short story written by J.R.R. Tolkien and serves as a central metaphor of the relationship between God, humanity and work throughout the book.  If you have not read this story I strongly suggest you stop here and read it before continuing.  It is a easy read that helps to draw out profound questions about the role of work in our lives.

Click the link to read the story "Leaf by Niggle"

While there are many potential talking points within this story, Keller keys in on Niggles "real picture" as his primary focus.  Niggles ambition is to complete one final, massive painting depicting a great tree in the midst of a grand countryside.  This was to be his ultimate work and he dedicated all available time to completing it.  Niggle worked meticulously, ensuring every leaf was just right, but his vision always outstripped what he was able to achieve.  There were countless distractions, namely his neighbour and various social obligations, but even when left to himself he found it difficult to make much progress.  By the time Niggle died, there was very little that was discernible on the canvas, only a single leaf was saved and hung in the Town Museum.  This leaf was only a tiny glimpse into the vision Niggle had for his grand countryside.  It seemed as though his life's work had amounted to very little.  However, when Niggle finally reaches the outskirts of heaven he gazes upon "The Tree".  It is the great tree from his vision right down to the last leaf.  In fact, the entire countryside is exactly as Niggle had imagined it.  While the land is perfect, there is still more work to do before it is finished.  Niggle embraces this work with tremendous focus and enthusiasm, there is no longer any interruptions or frustrations just the fulfillment of his vision.

I think this story is an appropriate illustration of what work is like on earth and what it was meant to be.  "Everyone imagines accomplishing things, and everyone finds him or herself largely incapable of producing them." (29)  We have a vision of something grand, but all we can create on earth is but a glimpse of that vision.  But why?  Before we can answer that we need to understand the purpose of work in the first place.

God's Plan for Work

Work is something that we were created to do from the very beginning.  God worked to create the universe and is actively working in its maintenance.  God created us to be like him, which is why he called Adam and Eve to "fill the earth and subdue it" while they were still living in the garden.  The world needs to be shaped, "its potential is undeveloped, so it needs to be cultivated like a garden" not keep it exactly as it is, or completely destroy it but we are to "rearrange it in order to make it most fruitful, to draw the potentialities for growth and development" (58).  Work is not a curse or something to be avoided, "work - and lots of it - is an indispensable component in a meaningful human life" (42).  Furthermore, work is not divided into work for God and work for humanity.  All work (that is not evil) is part of God's work.  "Whenever we bring order out of chaos, whenever we draw out creative potential, whenever we elaborate and unfold creation beyond where it was when we found it, we are following God's pattern of creative cultural development." (59)

Our Problems with Work

Similar to Niggle, we quickly observe that despite our grandest visions for work, it rarely lives up to that in reality.  The introduction of sin to the world resulted in "disintegration of every area of life: spiritual, physical, social, cultural, psychological, temporal, eternal." (85)  As such, work can be fruitless or pointless, and lead to selfishness or even idolatry.  Often times we can become trapped chasing after work which does not even fit our strengths or interests, but promises wealth, status or security.  No wonder we quickly become dissatisfied with our jobs and struggle to find meaning in our lives.  If we have options, we should choose work that we can do well, that benefits others, and that furthers our field of work itself.

The Gospel and Work

In order to find meaning in our lives and in our work it is important to develop a worldview.  To establish a worldview you must ask and answer the following questions:

1. How are things supposed to be in this situation?
2. What is the main problem with things as they are?
3. What is the solution and how can it be realized?

Worldviews are not restricted to individuals, but can be found in all areas of life including churches, government, and corporations. You may come to discover conflicts between your personal worldview and that of your workplace.  In order to find meaning in your work you need to identify how your worldview influences how you do your work.  The book has some suggestions for applying the Christian worldview to different lines of work including business, journalism, higher education, the arts and medicine.  The important concept is that you need to carefully consider the challenges, opportunities and pitfalls for applying the Christian worldview in your work.

Thoughts and Conclusions

Some key insights that struck me in reading through this book are noted below.

No profession is superior to another.  If we are saved by God's grace, than nothing we do brings us closer or further away from Him.  Therefore there cannot be any sacred professions.  Why would a pastor be considered more holy than a janitor?  If both are using the opportunities, talents and abilities God has given them to serve people and cultivate the world around them they are equally pleasing to God.  God needs artists, musicians, business executives, carpenters and factory workers.

All work that contributes to culture is pleasing to God.  It doesn't matter whether the work is done by Christians or not.  "Christians who understand biblical doctrine ought to be the ones who appreciate the work of non-Christians the most.  We know we are saved by grace alone, and therefore we are not better fathers or mothers better artists and businesspersons, than those who do not believe as we do.  Our gospel-trained can see the world ablaze with the glory of God's work through the people he has created and called - in everything from the simplest actions, such as milking a cow to, to the most brilliant artistic or historic achievements."

Overall I found this book really helpful in understanding God's plan for work and developing a better view of how engineering and stock trading impact the world.   I still need to do some more reflection on my personal worldview to help determine how my work helps people.  But I'm definitely looking forward to getting home and putting some of this stuff into practice.

Wisdom

Picture this scene:

We are in New Orleans, wading belly button deep in a cloudy grey water suburban canal with bits of garbage floating by.  It is hot.  My submerged scratched up legs are stinging and the water is stinky, in a polluted sort of way.

We are part of a team of five building a sandbag island.  There are two women, but I am the only one of the bunch too weak to do the main aspect of this work: actually carrying the sandbags.  (I have had to tell myself many times on this trip, "I am not good at (this present task) but I am good at many other things.")

This is not a volunteer opportunity I would have chosen, ever.  Even if my arms were stronger.  Nevertheless, Chris is happy and it is important work.  I am experiencing the following mix of emotions: humiliation, fatigue, determination to press on cheerfully the way everyone else seems to be doing with total ease, and misery.  Ugh.

Our team leader, named Andy, is a 40-something year old freckled, sun baked man with a red moustache and a tilley hat.

I have set up this scene for you because it strikes me as a very unlikely place for me to hear my new mantra for the year.

But here I was, helping to move along our makeshift raft covered in sandbags.   Andy instructs someone to do something in a safer fashion and finishes by pronouncing, "Safety first!" This was then followed by an offhand muttering of,  "normally I would say 'safety third' but that's probably not best in this situation."

"What do you mean by, 'safety third'?" I asked.

"Look fabulous.  Be fabulous.  And try not to hurt anyone while doing that.  That would be the safety," he responds.

(Just take a moment to ponder the awesomeness of this before you continue reading.)

Brilliance!  I love it.

I have put a great deal of thought into these three little rules for life since then.  To me, it is about shining as bright as you can without exploiting anyone else, whether that be a child in a foreign sweat shop or the person behind the counter at Starbucks.  It is about pursuing beauty and health and, at the same time, environmental and social justice.  It is about both my good and the good of creation.

It just applies SO WELL to my next phase of life: attempting to become a legit shoemaker!

Look Fabulous!  Be Fabulous!  And try not to hurt anyone while doing that!

Brief Update

We are now in Mechanicsburg, PA visiting Cindy, a woman I met 10 years ago when we were both teenagers on a Brio Missions Trip in Ecuador.  We have had a lovely evening, and are now sleeping in her living room (Well, Chris is sleeping anyway).

Tomorrow we'll be camping by the sea in Connecticut, and then off to L'Abri after that.  I am SO excited about going back to L'Abri, even if its not the Swiss one.

These last few days we visited North Point Church, a mega church in Georgia, and spend some time in Washington DC.  We're hoping to make a post soon about our experiences of three very different American churches but I'm not sure when we'll get a chance to do that.

Some things I wanted to update you on was a continuation of my first post on homosexuality.  I ended up living in community for a week with a beautiful, remarkable young woman who when I first met her, we made salad together as I vented about the homophobia I had encountered in Kentucky. (This conversation started as one of those "What did you major in?" conversations and when you majored in Religious Studies, well, you often end up having a fairly heavy conversation about religion, even if that's really not what you were looking for to begin with).  She said, in response to the belief that accepting homosexuals will destroy the American Empire, "Well, if that's how America goes down, I'm pretty okay with that."  She ended up being a lesbian herself.

Also, some things I am learning about hospitality:

1) There is no such thing as "normal food" anymore what with gluten allergies, peanut allergies, vegetarianism, veganism, locavorism, etc.  Strongly encourage people to tell you their preferences / dislikes ahead of time, and if they won't, have them approve your menu before you make it.  This makes for a more pleasant culinary experience for everyone.  Our first host had us make a list of our likes and dislikes and that made for a much more comfortable time for all and our food that week was delicious.

2) Let people see your unmade bed.  Nobody's perfect, and often, its refreshing to see other people's imperfections.  Don't wait for your house to be in perfect shape before inviting people over.  Have them share in your REAL life with you - no apologies!

3) Even if people don't take an interest in you, take an interest in them.  Find out what's so fascinating about what they find fascinating.  It will make conversations with people you don't really know less awkward and you will probably learn something.

We may not be online for awhile.  I'm not sure what the rules at L'Abri will be like.  Mom, if you're reading this, I'll try to call you again when we're at L'Abri but I'm not sure what the internet situation is and we need the internet to call.

Anyway, I'm dead tired.  Sorry for any typos or grammar mistakes above.  Normally I wouldn't type anything up this late but I'm not sure we'll have another chance to update you for awhile and I'm not in a particularly emotional mood so I'm pretty sure I won't regret any of this in the morning.

Thanks for taking an interest in our trip, everyone!  Feel free to comment.  Comments are like nice little ego biscuits for us (especially me).

Common Ground Relief - A Magic School Bus Experience

According to My Research

When we arrived at Common Ground Relief in New Orleans we really didn't know what we were getting into.  We got connected to the organization because the engineering side of me wanted to do some wetlands restoration work.  However I didn't understand why it was important or how it connected with Hurricane Katrina until I got the chance to ask some questions.  The city of New Orleans is completely surrounded by wetland areas.  These wetland areas are created by the Mississippi river as it slows down and deposits sediment before discharging into the Gulf of Mexico.  These wetlands are the city's primary protection against hurricanes, as the shallow water and vegetation absorb the storm surge.  However, human activity in this area has prevented the wetlands from doing their jobs.  Thousands of canals have been constructed to make shipping and logging practices more efficient.  However, these canals allow the storm surge to completely bypass wetland areas.  Also, a complicated system of levees has been constructed along the Mississippi River to protect the city from flooding.  However, these levees also prevent the surrounding wetlands from receiving new sediment and nutrients to maintain a healthy ecological environment resulting in the loss of countless acres of wetland every year.  It was these impacts to the wetland system that exacerbated hurricane Katrina and multiplied the devastation.  As such, one of the objectives of Common Ground is to help to re-establish wetland areas around the City by growing and strategic planting of wetland grasses.  For more information about the organization look here http://www.commongroundrelief.org/wetlands

Take Chances, Make Mistakes, Get Messy!

We had a variety of projects during our stay at Common Ground, but we were given very little information about what we were supposed to do or how we were supposed to do it.  This lead to a lot of trial and error experiments for Gloria and I as well as Pierre and Marion (the other volunteers we predominantly worked with).  The most notable example of this would be our attempted construction of planting boxes in a "fan shape fashion".  The only information we were given is that the first and second box were built, but the second one was completely wrong and the widest the boxes should be is 4ft.  I'll attach a sketch of the actual design below, but it took us most of the first day and a couple hours in AutoCAD to do all the math to come up with the right dimensions.  

Also, we completely abandoned the idea of doing it in imperial units as it wasn't going to make our job any easier.  We also developed an elaborate system for levelling the boxes using stakes, string and a flexible plastic tube which I won't get into here.  But there was a definite theme of projects being significantly more complicated than we were led to believe based on the instructions we were given.

Another major theme of our projects at Common Ground was getting dirty.  Whether we were digging in the nursery, planting in the wetland or building a sandbag island we ended up covered head to toe in sand, muck and mud.  Showers were mandatory and most days I just threw my socks away at the end of the day rather than attempting to clean them.  But I absolutely loved it!  The end of every day brought such a sense of pride and accomplishment for working hard and using our own hands to make a difference.

Oh Please Let this be a Simple Project.  With the French? No Way!

I already mentioned earlier that we spent most of our time working with two other volunteers named Pierre and Marion.  They are Civil Engineering students a two month internship from France.  Now their English is miles ahead of mine and Gloria's French, but the language and even cultural barrier combined with a lack of information for our projects certainly made things more difficult.  They were great people and had a lot of good ideas for how to tackle our projects, it just took a while to explain ideas so that everyone was on the same page.  I also caught myself feeling like a three year old whenever I would say a word or phrase in french and they would "praise"  me for my knowledge of the language.  But I'm sure they were just making fun of me for my horrible grammar and accent.  Regardless, we had lots of laughs and generally enjoyed working together.

We Never Used to do this in my Old Country

As is the case whenever you visit another part of the world, there are some things that are just a little bit different than life home and New Orleans is no exception.  Here are couple of things we noted outside of the heat and humidity.  Firstly, fire ants (aka little f***ers) are everywhere.  Whenever you are outside working you need to have an eye out.  If you stand in the wrong spot, or pick up the wrong piece of wood they will be all over you and they really really hurt.  Poor Gloria has a bad reaction to their bites and ended up with bumps all over her legs.  Secondly, subs are called Po-Boys.  We asked a number of locals the difference between the two of them and although they tried to explain it, the sense that we got is that they are basically the same and successful businesses in the area always refers to them as Po-Boys.  New Orleans is a place that really values tradition and as a result a lot of nation wide chains don't fair so well in the city.  Another, unique experience was getting used to riding in the back of a pick up truck to go anywhere.  Apparently wearing seat belts is only mandatory for people in the front seat, so we would often shuttle back and forth to different job sites sitting in the back of the truck.  It took a while to get used to being stopped at a light beside a police car sitting in the back of a truck and not feeling nervous.  And finally, I can't talk about the differences between Canada and New Orleans without mentioning Bourbon Street.  Bourbon Street is what New Orleans is famous for.  It is where all the tourists go and is like walking through one continuous party.  We visited during the Southern Decadence Festival, which is like a miniature gay Marti Gras and the entire street was packed with people, drinks in hand, dancing and dressed in costumes and drag.  Each bar has it's own balcony overlooking the street and music blasting for everyone to hear.  Being a pair of introverts, Gloria and I tired of the spectacle quickly but it was certainly something to behold.  Other than some of these differences, Gloria and I felt like the City of New Orleans was a good fit for us.  There is definitely a sense of community between those who live there, and people seem to be much more conscious about social justice and environmental issues than most of the rest of the world.  Hopefully we can come back again and see how things change.

Black and White

About a week ago when we first arrived at our hostel in New Orleans, we found ourselves unpacking the car on the side of the road in a scuzzy part of town at about 10:30 at night. Though there were sidewalks on both sides, as we unloaded our suitcases, a group of 4-5 black young men came walking down the opposite side of the street, then crossed in the middle of the lane, so that they were walking towards us on the street. I felt nervous. They walked right past us and I gave a guilty sigh of relief.

 In an area where the vast majority of the population is black, I've never been so aware of race before in my life. I've been reflecting on the above situation, wondering if the colour of their skin made me more nervous than I would have been if they were white. I'm honestly not sure. Either way, a group of men crossing the street at night towards you and your car instead of using the sidewalks and intersections is disconcerting. Nevertheless, I was keenly aware of the colour of their skin versus the colour of mine.

 I don't want to be racist, but I know that I am living in a racist fishbowl. I know that I need to intentionally shed some ingrained unfair biases. I'm just not sure quite how to confront the evil in me that I'm largely unaware of.

 Part of the issue is that despite living in a fairly multicultural part of Canada, my interests don't usually get me in situations where I would naturally socialize with people from other cultural backgrounds (minus the occasional person here or there). Is the answer, then, to deliberately branch out and go to those places more frequented by people different than myself?

 Before we left for this trip, we made a list of things we wanted to do while in the USA. Attend a black gospel church was one of our items. We did that, and one of the announcements at that church was about a 50th Anniversary of ML King's Speech Celebration / Protest Against Mass Incarceration. Since another item on our list was to attend a protest, we decided to go. It was, after all, an issue that we believed in. We also felt that the presence of as many white faces in the protest as possible would be a positive thing, even if, politically as Canadians, we couldn't do much about it.

We attended the protest, which ended up being a kind of rally in a church. I was expecting something out on a street somewhere with signs. There were signs there, but they were printed on 8 1/2 X 11 sheets of printer paper and were only used inside the church. Protestants, Catholics, Jews, children and judges took the stage - talking about the problem of mass incarceration of African Americans in America, especially in Louisiana. The statistics we heard were very alarming. Did you know that America incarcerates more people per capita than any other country, and that Louisiana incarcerates more people per than any other state? Or that more African Americans are in prison today than all the slaves in America in 1850?

 The main, most concrete issue to be confronted was that the police wanted to expand the local prison so that it could house more inmates.  It is not just the voilent people being sent to prison - that, nobody is disputing - it is that going to prison is the band-aid solution to far too many crimes.  The reality is that far too many people are being sent to jail for possessing drugs or having a mental illness.They handed out lawmakers' phone numbers and told everyone to contact these people the next day telling them that they oppose the new prison expansion.

 I don't know what the laws are like in Canada pertaining to the same issues, but that's probably because I've never really gotten involved in politics before.   I think when we go back to Canada, this is something we would like to get more involved in. Canada's situation is different, but we have oppressed groups too. And we would like to be on the side of the liberators, not the perpetrators, and certainly not a part of the silent majority.

Week 1: Covington, KY

For our first stop on this journey, we've been spending time as WWOOFers at a hobby farm in Covington, Kentucky, which is about a 10 minute drive from Cincinnati, Ohio. On a map it doesn't look very far south, but culturally, things are very different.

 I'm exhausted right now from the number of intense discussions I've had lately. I'm in total cultural shock over a number of things and my host family has not been shy at all about drawing my opinions out of me and discussing them with me. I'm really not used to talking about what I actually think about potentially offensive things. I'm realizing that I think for the sake of keeping the peace, Canadians ignore controversial topics when around people they are pretty sure have opposing views. Not so here.

Most of what I've talked about has been fairly well accepted. I was directly asked about my views on females in church leadership and female submission. Though we disagreed on those topics, we were still able to talk it out without tension building too uncomfortably high.

 Our host family at one point in the past was semi-seriously looking into moving up to Canada because they hated how many immigrants were coming to the US and taking up all of the country's low-wages jobs. ("What kind of jobs are college students supposed to get during the summer when all of the minimum wage jobs have been taken up by foreigners?") I explicitly stated that most Canadians I know are actually very welcoming to immigrants and many of them are very frustrated with the governments' latest restrictions on them. I told them about how broken hearted our church was when a Columbian family in our congregation was forced to move back to Columbia and how hard we rallied to try to get them to stay. Again, we differed in our perspectives here but again, everything seemed to be fine.

Out of the blue one morning, our host mom said, "you guys have been such a positive Christian presence here! You give me such hope for the future!" So that was nice. However, I think the lines of communication have kind of broken down since I was pointedly asked about my opinion of homosexuality.

 I know homophobia exists in the Canadian church but trust me when I say that even the most ridiculous homophobic thing I've heard in Ontario is tame compared to what I've heard here. Basically, they truly believe that if America accepts homosexuals, their empire will "fall" just like Rome, Greece and Africa(?) did because "its been well documented by secular sources that that's what happens". Seriously.

 I tried defending homosexuals as best I could. I've never had to do it before, at least, not in the context of talking with someone who is so proudly homophobic. Its too controversial of an issue for a lot of Canadian Christians, I guess. As an evangelical who worked in a very liberal United Church, its an issue I've had to really think through and research thoroughly.

I truly believe that God doesn't fault homosexuals their romantic love for others in their same sex. Why would He? What logic is there to that at all? If you find that an unbiblical idea, I encourage you to watch the documentary "For the Bible Tells Me So" or read the book, A Lily Among the Thorns: Imagining a New Christian Sexuality by Miguel de la Torre. These are both excellent resources that take Scripture seriously.  I especially recommend the documentary "For the Bible Tells Me So" for any evangelical who opposes homosexuals.  The title sounds a little patronizing, I know, but the actual content of the movie is actually quite sensitive to both sides of the issue.

 Anyway, I think the anger I feel right now about the overt homophobia I've experienced here in the Bible Belt has inspired me to break my silence on this topic. There have been too many times that I've let less intense forms of homophobia slide in my presence. Homophobia is disgusting and I hope that in 50 years from now, I can proudly say that I was on the side of the liberators in this movement, just like a few white folks can say that about their participation in the Civil Rights Movement in the 50s and 60s. Anyway, I need to get going. In case you haven't noticed, this is Gloria, not Chris. Hopefully he'll be doing some of these updates as well.